Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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