I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
