we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
