thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
