it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
