just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
