Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
