I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
