Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
