he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
