well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
