and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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