Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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