I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
