If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
