I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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