I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Your dad touched me again.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
