Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
