I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
