if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
