You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
