OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
