Small penises have feelings too.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
