She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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