16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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