Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
