I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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