There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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