She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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