i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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