return my video game
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
