you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
