I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
sick fucks of a feather flock together
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i out mim tonsoeep
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
