He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
