dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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