sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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