that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
