i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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