Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
