you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
