just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
