2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this beer tastes like vomit already
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
