where am i from again
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
