things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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