And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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