Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
