The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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