i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
