it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
