My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
