okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
