just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
