How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
