dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize