We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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