glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
