ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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